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I used to want to die.Take a look at this papers background… It’s blank right?
That’s what your life is every day if you do nothing about it.
The world is your canvas you paint it, not anyone else.
Pick up your paint brush and paint a beautiful sky that you want to see everyday
Or YOU choose to paint a tornado that takes everything from you, and eventually takes your life if you paint it too many times.
Trust me. It isn’t worth it. I know that’s it is hard, you tell me you can’t do it but you can. My God or your God believes you can get through this!
He believes that you are tougher than every person around you.
He believes th
Brokeback PewdieCry[This fic is actually too long to upload here, so please go to my FanFiction account, or go straight (hue) to the fic here: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9301339/1/Brokeback-PewdieCry]
The Artificial FaceThe Artificial Face
Inside the magazine you will see, very young attractive males and females. Each of them telling you, you are not good enough. They stand there and mock you with those eyes, those naked bodies. They tell you the horrible secrets that leak from their marble mouths. You are not hot, you are not thin, you are not muscular, you are not perfect like we are. We are the elite, everyone loves us and you will never be like us because you are so damned ugly.
They’re liars, every one of those people are nothing but liars. Please don’t hate them for what they are. They’re sad enough to stoop so low. So what is the t
Sleep ParalysisThe demon visited me once again today.
Yes, today. Not tonight or the night before or after; times you’d think a demon would be out. This demon knows no such boundaries, it would seem, and so it usually visits me in the morning.
I lay in bed, having woken up much earlier than I wanted or needed to, with my eyes shut in hopes of remedying the situation. My body relaxed several times, and I felt sleep just within my grasp…
But several times my body found some fault with the split second-imagery of my dreams and jolted me awake, leaving me frustrated, but not deterred.
I would prefer it to what happens next.
The final time I shut
Ignorance Is Bliss Ignorance is bliss. There were never truer words to explain our relationship. I trusted you. I confided in you, and you treated it like it was nothing. Were it not for the fact that I believe in forgiving others despite their deeds, I would never have forgiven you.
I should have known. I should have seen it from the first night I met you, but I wanted someone (you) as my friend enough I overlooked it. I should have just stopped for five minutes to see who you really were. But I didn’t.
You’re very good at hiding who you are, I’ll give you that. I wonder how long you have been doing that. How many lies did yo
Forever LetterDear You,
I've known you for a long time and I thought that we could tell
each other anything, but now I know it isn't true. I knew that
your condition was worsening, but I didn't know it was so bad.
I found out that you had cancer the other day. You tried to hide
it from me, but I found the chemo dates in that pocket in your
bag you thought hid everything from the world. From me. From
me, your only trusted person in the universe. And that's not all
Those chemotherapy dates were expired, past. You've been through
maybe six or seven tests now. And I talked to your doctor about
it and he told me that you have maybe three weeks l
I reread the note todayHe was so self-conscious that he began to come across as bizarre: a thin young man with gaunt cheekbones who slouched around the edges of conversations waiting for a chance to politely cut in, but to those more extroverted he seemed a creep or a voyeur. I knew him a year in silent passing before we had a conversation on the winding staircase beside the wall of windows.
Paused with intention, he stood above me and, backlit by a pale grey January morning, I could see all the blackened angles of his figure in contrast with his hands which rested bright upon the railing: smooth and golden, sparsely haired. When he smiled, he bared all his teeth,
Important You see a different side of a people when they sleep. Some people become rolling and boiling oceans, thrashing around in fits of emotional rage. Others become soft trains, riding down a long peaceful track. Even still, some make an unconscious decision to tell you their life story.
For me, my person becomes a beautiful place of serenity. Whilst he's awake, he's comical, vibrant, and alive. But sleeping, all of those wonderful attributes that make him him, they all become much quieter. All stress and anxiety seemingly disappear from under his radar, leaving only peace of mind and calm. While sleeping, he is more than beautiful.
Sleep is important. But for me, it is not for the reasons scientists say it is. It is a chance to find beauty in those around you where you may not commonly see it, Sleep is a chance to hold someone close, when you're too fearful while conscious.
Find your beauty. N
The Standard TwistWhat’s considered Normal
If we're all considered Odd,
Is Normal having no beliefs,
Is Normal loving God?
Is Normal picking up a smoke,
And lying down to rest,
Is Normal being better than you can be,
Is Normal really the best?
Is Normal a thing I can strive for,
Is it something I should be,
Is Normal the word you'd use to describe,
What you see when you see me?
In a world full of questions,
I like to ask myself,
If normal is something we aim for,
Why all those trophies on our shelves?
Because awards come from Oddity,
Where you do things with your heart,
And if you do them Normally,
You're hopeless from the start,
Oddity is what
A Stand for Sexuality.I’ve been waiting a while to get the chance and write this just to put it out there and try and make a difference. First of all;
Definition of Homosexual:
(of a person) sexually attracted to people of one's own sex.
• involving or characterized by sexual attraction between people of the same sex: homosexual desire.
a person who is sexually attracted to people of their own sex.
Definition of Homophobia:
an extreme and irrational aversion to homosexuality and homosexual people.
Now I guarantee that so many people who are homophobic or are uncomfortable with homosexuals, bisexuals, or anyone that is not hetero
Twisted SmilesI stand here looking at the cloudy sky above me. It smiles its most maniacal smiles and laughs as rain begins to pour from the murky heavens. I simply stare into the rain and begin to smile back.
It is my most delirious smile, full of mischief and laughter. The rain responds with a quiet gust of laughing wind. My twisted smile, it curves even further.
I take a deep breath and laugh, knowing that inside of this madness, that this is where I want to be. It is here where my heart desires to be, it is here where I belong, it is here where I am immersed in this sunken abyss.
The raven with his call of laughter, he never seemed so loud. Even in
This ManThis man is different from Pa. He's like a distinct reflection, making my world and understanding different than before.
Ma says that this man once told her that Pa was stupid to drop our family. After that, I always sat in my room--well, a room not MY room--wondering..........what was so special about my family? We're probably one of the worst families there is. A lost woman, now the head of a bunch of lost members, a dazed teenager, an isolated gamer, a quick tempered girl and two pets, who would want to choose us?
His family is more interesting. His wife is one of the religious group leaders at church, his daughter is a high school gradu
NoteI told the voices to shut the fuck up,
but they don listen, they just keep talking on and on,
and the love to argue with me over the stupidest shit.
I didn't know I wasn't the only one in me.
You never know, we could all very well be insane.
delusional and drunk in what we think is real.
who knows, it could all be a dream, or a nightmare
whichever you choose
i thought it was normal to be yourself, not someone else.
if that were the case, why so many sad sacks around.
is everyone this sad? i wouldn't know since
my closest friends are in my head.
i like my ponies, they symbolize the child in me
the child I hope dies when I die
I hope it nev
The American Nightmare*Caution: This story is not safe for young children. It is very scary.*
A little girl comes skipping into her house. She has a bright, cheery smile upon her face and she's holding dandelions in her hands. But soon, the smile is wiped off her face as she opens the fridge...
To her terror, there is nothing to eat. Sadly, due to her American diet and 1st world problems, the only food she is capable of digesting is soda, potato chips, and hamburgers. Not once in her life has she thought of trying some fruit or vegetables. For she is an American.
"Mother!" she cries, "There is nothing to eat!" The little girl falls to her knees and weeps because she's too blind to see that there is still food in the refrigerator. Her handful of dandelions fall to the floor along with her tears.
But there is no reply, because the hunger has already taken her dear old mother. And there is no reply fr
Max, son of Hera p.7Ella's POV
"Rejection leaves a bitter mark doesn't it?" my father asked me softly and moved way.
I sighed. "You have no idea," I muttered.
He scoffed and I realized my mistake.
"Oh, wait. You do have an idea. Sorry."
He merely shook his head and went back to tightening a bolt on one of his automatons.
I sighed again. "Can I take it off now? I am safe here."
"If you'd like," he said, not paying much attention.
My mouth twitched into a thin smile that disappeared quickly and I pressed the button behind my ear. The hissing sound of my robot body sounded too loud and I had to cover my human ear so it wouldn't hurt. I came out and stretche
Max, son of Hera p.6We had settled in Virginia and then by my mother's orders, we were forced to move to Nevada where I met Emily and fell in love with her . . . then I remembered everything else . . .
We were at the altar we were getting married, I had already said my vows and so had she but the preacher never got to the part of pronouncing us man and wife before god and man because my mother interrupted the wedding.
"I shall never see the day when a son of mine marries someone so imperfect!" she yelled outraged and attacked my poor Emily.
Hephaestus attacked Hera with fire and came to his daughter's side. She was his only daughter and he cared for her enoug
Max, son of Hera p.5She knew I was a son of Hera and she blamed my mother for everything that had happened to her. That is not what worried me the most, however. What worried me was perhaps my reaction. Instead of being scared at the fact that she knew what no one else knew, I wasn't. I did not feel frightened or threatened. I felt relieved but I also felt something else that surprise me even more because I understood the feeling.
I was sad hurt and it was because of Ella.
"Ella." Came a voice from behind me and I turned around to gasp and take a step back and the scowling overgrown man. He was a huge lump of a man with a bulging head and his leg i
Max, son of Hera p.4As we rode the bus Sophia and kept updating me about everything but I find it harder and harder each time to pay attention to her when my mind was on Ella Strongforce. She sat in the row of chairs in front of us and I could hear her working with something. Sophia would comment on little things in history and Ella would laugh and add something about: how it was the gods' fault that certain things happened.
I tried to peak once into what she was doing, just out of curiosity, but Sophia stopped me and shook her head.
"She doesn't like it when you stare at her work over her shoulder. She'll think you are trying to still her idea or something,"
Max, son of Hera p.3So yes. I'm stuck in this place until I die. But Sophia is such a great teacher I'm having fun learning.
She has put me up to date to everything that has happened and I feel old but what can I do? It's not my fault my darling mother hid me for such a long time. In case you were wondering what I did all that time in there there was a section for me where I endless games of cards and chess with opponents I didn't even bother on looking twice.
At least that is what I seem to recall.
But the world had changed so much it was amazing all the things I had missed but to be honest if I hadn't been in there I would have died of old
Max, son of Hera p. 2I do not know how or why I was taken out of that place but I was relieved, as I was scared. I do not mind admitting my witnesses. Moreover, coming out of a place you have been for over two hundred years is terrifying enough.
However having someone like Sophia, it really helps to get used to everything.
She is Sophia Rays Sterling and she is a daughter of Zeus. Since Percy Jackson rather told the gods, they should do whatever they wanted since it did not work out the first time he decided to have another affair and well hello Sophia.
She doesn't like to be called Sophie, therefore don't ever say it because she is very temperamental, l
Wistful thinkingThe wistful thinking of a broken hearted girl in love
I'm sitting here alone.
I can hardly think.
I can barely breathe.
My life has constant torture.
My life has unvarying pain.
It's my life I hate.
I see the people walking by,
Kissing one another.
And even though I have my own moments,
I long for them even more now that I have them.
She was beautiful, and kind and warm.
With problems just like everybody but less than my own.
With a simple set of words she helped me get free.
And each day I miss her more and more.
But God is really awful if he found it in him to take her away from me.
I loved h
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`anmari has been spreading her infectious positivity throughout our community for over 6 years. Throughout this time Ana has been at the core of all things devious, passionately developing an eclectic gallery, helping organise devmeets, participating in chat events and also recently completed dedicating her time as a Community Volunteer. We are absolutely delighted to bestow the Deviousness Award for May 2013 to `anmari, congratulations! Read More